Friday, February 16, 2007

Dinky person

Yesterday hit me hard. It became difficult for me to get out of bed. I dragged myself in the shower, put some gel on my curly hair, and wore my skinniest jeans. I poured my coffee in my old thermos and drove my car to school. I did not get there though. Four blocks away from my house, I could not stand the heat in the middle of February, so I drove back to my house and got the direction to First Baptist L.A. and started my adventure. I had not driven in downtown L.A. before; it was my first time. I was a little scared but I was so downcast that I would do anything to get my mind off dinky person.

I have not felt this way since summer. The return of my inability to control my emotions and physical body was striking. I have been doing well since the holiday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year helped me get over dinky person. I enjoyed having relative and relatives' relatives around the house. I loved seeing people and hearing their stories. They made me forget how 2006 was so horrible.

When I am not with relatives, I watch the news, repeatedly. Horrible stories makes me think that my life is better than people in the news. The mother of Anna Nicole is struggling to gain custody of her grandchild, an old lady in Santa Anna is mugged, snow storm exists in the Midwest, and people are stuck in JetBlue airline.

Driving to downtown L.A. helps refocus my attention to school. I delight in every moment when I am not thinking about dinky person. I would do anything that would divert my thoughts from dinky person and concentrate on my studies. I would go to Oxnard to visit relatives, drive to Bay Area to see old friends, attend First Baptist L.A. to meet new people. When I am engaging with other people who do not remind me of dinky person, I feel better.

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