Thursday, February 08, 2007

Second Chances

I am probably the most laid back Bay Arean converted to SoCal chika, you'll ever meet. I dont like to worry. I dont easily get irritated. I dont complain much (opinionated, but not a complainer). When it comes to my relationship, I have expectations. I dont ask for much. Respect, love, care, and understanding. All I ask for is a potential boyfriend who does not steal my ideas, opinions, and remarks. If he had to borrow my thoughts, I would like him to give me the credits. Would it not be adorable if my potential boyfriend say, "this girl I like is so smart"? It would also be nice if I could have my alone time. Sorry potential boyfriend, its not you and its not our potential relationship, its me. I need my alone time to recharge.

Sometimes, I need some space, so I drive to Oxnard to see my family. My family helps me recharge. My cousins give me joy. No matter how loud they scream, cry, and complain, they do not annoy me. What annoys me are your mannerisms, so I dont sit next to you. Sometimes I dont even want to look at you. I do not want to end our potential relationship, and I do not want to get you upset. But, I need you to love me.

I do not want you to care for me when I have the flu, cold, or cough. I dont even want you to look at me at my worst moment. I feel embarrassed. I dont want you to see me with my runny nose, tired eyes, and pale cheeks. But, do care for me when I am burned out and when I feel like no one cares. I like it when you look after my well being. When I cannot express my feelings, I like it when you speak up for me.

I need you to understand my ethnic culture. I am Filipino. I do things the Filipino way. I am Ilokano. I do things the Ilokano way. I am Filipino-American. I do things the Filipino-American way. I love to eat rice and nilaga. I come from a close-knit family. I love to hang out at the beach. I love to go shopping. I love to eat good food.

I dont ask for much. Just respect me, love me, care for me, and understand me. Dont do these things to make yourself look good. Dont love me because you want to tell me how you have done what I wanted you to do. Love me from the bottom of your heart. Make me feel cherished and special. Tell me you like me. Tell me you want to go on a date with me. Tell me you want to be with me.

When you sow love, you will reap love, right? When you express your love to me, I can reciprocate my love to you, right?

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