Friday, August 29, 2008

Second day into the afterfight

Yesterday my dad came home to check on things. She wasnt home. She still has not confronted my parents about what happened, which tells me that if I was wrong, she would have told my parents my mistake. She has not told her side of the story, which further convinces me that I have the right to tell her she's pushing my buttons.

My friends are with me on my decision to fight her back. One friend agrees with me about what happened and says that she really is out of line to raise her voice or to even ask me if I was mad at her.

Do some people have no shame at all? Do some people feel better when they push my buttons? Do they feel better when they put the blame on me? As a previous student of psychology, I know the answers to these questions. If I was a coach, I would know what to say to other people. But, it is really different when it hits home. No education or professional experience can sugar coat personal pain.

I remember what Bill Cosby said last night on Oprah (rerun). He said,"Hurt people hurt people." I see how hurt people hurt people in this scenario. My border is a hurt person. She is divorced. Her daughter is mischievious and a clepto. She expresses her pain. She cries in her room. She curses her ex-husband and his family. Her sadness develops into anger. I can see why she hurt me. I still cant believe it happened to me. This incidence is something I would watch on Lifetime or Hallmark Channel; it wouldnt happen to me. I have to watch myself not to go through the cycle of loneliness: denial, sadness, anger, acceptance. I hope no one would ever have to go through my experience.

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