Thursday, August 28, 2008

Still shaken

Im still shaken from the argument I had with the person renting the room downstairs. As a result, my dad went home early for the week to check on me and my brother. I have never had any shouting confrontation with anyone outside my family circle. I know I can tell my family right and wrong. Often losing my temper and feeling insecure, I unconsciously raise my voice. For a non-family member to obnoxiously scream at me at my own house is unthinkable. I do not understand how my hidden anger escalated into a major conflict. Im usually able to control and hide my anger towards people who are not related to me. I know that rolling my eyes and avoiding other people I hate is enough to send a signal that I am angry and I want them to get out of my face! I did not expect that she would tell it to my face, "What's your problem???" I have never encountered anything horrid and grotesque. I wanted to move to the suburbs or the valley so I do not have to encounter rude, obnoxious, and arrogant people. I guess human beings are the same everywhere I go: marred and foible.

I need some outlet so I can forget about what happened to me. I need not to feel scared that she would come back and haunt me. I want to stop looking over my shoulders and watching my back. I have been dramatically traumatized yesterday. I need peace and a peaceful place to clear my mind.

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